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What kind of rioter are you?
Sunday 14th August 2011 | Osh
So you decided not to head down to the riots (fair enough), but The Guestlist Network believe in an all-inclusive spirit of things so we’ve constructed this infallible, scientifically-accurate quiz to suss out what you would have been doing if you had been there.
1. You receive a new message on BBM, things are going down in X area of London. Which shop do you go to first?
a) JD Sports
b) Petrol Station
c) Town Hall
d) Currys
2. Here come the police. What do you do?
a) Check that I’ve got everything in the right sizes and run away from them.
b) Run towards them.
c) Pick up my camera and take some snaps to bring to the family.
d) Grab whatever is in front of me and run away from them.
3. You spot your picture in the paper under the ‘Report These Rioters’ headline. What is your first thought?
a) Do I look okay?
b) Are my clothes singed?
c) That’s my picture! I wonder what the headline says? The family will be so excited.
d) At least they can’t see the bag of stuff on my back.
4. What do you use to cover your face?
a) Initially I used my fave Primark scarf but I had regular outfit changes throughout the riots.
b) The emergency fire blanket I found in Ladbrokes staff room.
c) Why would I cover my face? I did buy an umbrella earlier; it says ‘I <3 Rain’.
d) The bandana my mate brought me.
6. Rioting completed. What do you do to chill out?
a) Put on my new outfit and get down to the clubs to show it off.
b) Settle down and take a nap. If only the beds in these cells were bigger...
c) I go back to my hotel and write a postcard home about all the new friends I made today.
d) Chill out? Mate, I’ve got a 50” screen to set up.
1. You receive a new message on BBM, things are going down in X area of London. Which shop do you go to first?
a) JD Sports
b) Petrol Station
c) Town Hall
d) Currys
2. Here come the police. What do you do?
a) Check that I’ve got everything in the right sizes and run away from them.
b) Run towards them.
c) Pick up my camera and take some snaps to bring to the family.
d) Grab whatever is in front of me and run away from them.
3. You spot your picture in the paper under the ‘Report These Rioters’ headline. What is your first thought?
a) Do I look okay?
b) Are my clothes singed?
c) That’s my picture! I wonder what the headline says? The family will be so excited.
d) At least they can’t see the bag of stuff on my back.
4. What do you use to cover your face?
a) Initially I used my fave Primark scarf but I had regular outfit changes throughout the riots.
b) The emergency fire blanket I found in Ladbrokes staff room.
c) Why would I cover my face? I did buy an umbrella earlier; it says ‘I <3 Rain’.
d) The bandana my mate brought me.
5. You’re in JD Sports; your time is limited. What do you grab?
a) The new ranges and shoes I’ve had my eye on in my size.
b) The matches.
c) I did choose some stuff but there was no one at the till. I’m not sure how shops work in England.
d) Everything I can carry in my arms, balance on my head and fill my trolley with.
6. Rioting completed. What do you do to chill out?
a) Put on my new outfit and get down to the clubs to show it off.
b) Settle down and take a nap. If only the beds in these cells were bigger...
c) I go back to my hotel and write a postcard home about all the new friends I made today.
d) Chill out? Mate, I’ve got a 50” screen to set up.
If you answered -
Mostly A - Congratulations! You are the Fashionista.
When the windows start shattering, new clothes are your first priority. While the rest of the high street was in chaos you knew exactly where you were going and which trends you wanted to be caught on CCTV with. You are the type of person who would kick through a window and then spend hours in the changing room trying to work out if you can fit into that dress, rather than realising you can just leave with them all and try them on later.
Mostly B - Congratulations! You are the Arsonist.
“Man make fire! Fire goooood.” Why leave it when you can burn it? You show up to the riot with a lighter and a can of deodorant, ready to torch anything that will burn. It’s just a shame you didn’t think to rob Tesco first and get some marshmallows.
Mostly C - Congratulations! You are the Unfortunate Tourist.
You’d never been to London before so were surprised by the spontaneous fire festival when you got here, but you quickly got into the spirit of the tradition and can’t wait to show your family the holiday snaps as soon as you get out of jail.
Mostly D - Congratulations! You are the Looter.
Doors are for losers. Who needs a door when you can smash a window? You spotted your opportunity to replace that flickery old TV, and headed over the nearest electronic store. Hey, while you’re out, you might as well go grab a new phone, and weren’t you running low on Basmati Rice?
