These Four Agreements could change your life (and your group chat)

Life coaches charge hundreds for this kind of thing. Ancient Mexican sages gave it away for free, and you can read it in the time it takes the kettle to boil.

The Four Agreements are a set of rules anyone can follow, and the idea is that sticking to them can help you achieve extraordinary things. They trace back around 1,000 years to the Toltec people of southern Mexico, known as people of wisdom. According to legend, they could heal the sick and transform objects into whatever they wanted. To everyone else, they were basically magicians. To us, they sound like the ideal people to have on the guestlist.

The agreements reached a modern audience through don Miguel Ruiz’s 1997 book The Four Agreements, and plenty of people credit them with pulling them through difficult times. Here’s the gist.

1. Always do your best

Whatever situation you’re in, give it everything you’ve got. Your best will look different on a Monday morning than it does at a Saturday night peak-time slot, and that’s fine. The point is that if you’ve genuinely given it your all, there’s no room left for regret or beating yourself up afterwards.

2. Be impeccable with your word

Speak with integrity. Skip the gossip and use your words to motivate and encourage the people around you instead. Yes, that includes not slagging off the warm-up DJ. Especially if you’re the warm-up DJ next week.

3. Say what you actually feel and want

Have the courage to tell people what you really think and need, rather than letting them guess. Most drama starts with an assumption and ends with a 47-message group chat. Ask the question, say the thing, save everyone the stress.

4. Don’t take anything personally

Hurtful opinions usually say more about the person giving them than the person receiving them. That bad review, the snide comment, the bloke who requested “something we can dance to” in the middle of your set: none of it is really about you.

Four rules, no subscription fee, no app required. Not bad for a thousand-year-old life hack.